What the hell is marriage about? What the hell is engagement about?
I'm sitting here an engaged mom in my 20's who just wants to give up. I'm not sure what to believe anymore.
My fiance keeps telling me things that I never believed in. How am I suppose to be happy.
Feeling super miserable in my relationship of almost 5 rocky years. They say you never know what goes on behind closed doors. They were right...
I went with my SO to California. That's not where my problems started. Mostly started when I started living there. Getting bored. Wanting to move on like I always did before. Afraid of where I was and if I could make it alone in an unfamiliar territory.
I started the normal routine of meeting guys at my job and flirting casually. I wanted to see where they could take me. How much money they could spend on me. I wanted to have some fun. My SO and I were super broke and he didn't even like being there making me feel so miserable.
I kept thinking we were making a mistake. I thought to myself, well if this is how is he when we're here I need to leave.
Then I did things with these men. Which was something I normally didn't think twice about.
For some reason I felt more guilty about it. Living with my SO I felt his love a different way. When I realized that I was being a stupid good for nothing cheater I instantly felt like a rollercoaster without brakes.
Was I suppose to keep doing this and hurt him. Or was I suppose to do this and then leave him. I was confused..
I was coming home to this man. Sleeping in the same bed. All the things I never did before. When I laid in my bed my parents had for me I felt like a blank piece of paper.
I lied to him when he found out. That was strike 2. How dare I do that! How could I do that to him. Cause I loved him? Cause I didn't want him to dump me? Cause I was scared to be kicked out with no where to go?
That was strike two in my mind. If he had left me I knew that it was justified. I deserved it.
He didn't dump me or leave me. Miraculously he still wanted to be with me.
I started to hate myself. The relationship became toxic. I felt like it was broken.
We left California. We got jobs and a place to live. I felt better. More alive. Money wasn't tight. We bought a dog together.
Time to Fuck up/drama fill it up again.
What's it about drama that moves us? Is it time? Is it fun? What about making people miserable puts me in a good mood?
I mean I really thought I loved this guy.
I decided to break up with my SO and then get back together with him just so I could lie to this guy to get him to make out with me.
PATHETIC.
I feel like a little girl.
My SO still wants to be with me... is he cheating on me too? Is he OK with it because he is flirting with others??
We get pregnant.
My little one is so beautiful. Is this real life? Did I finally make up my mind about my SO? Do I love him?
Other little things happened. But I did my best not to lie about it and tell him when I started to talk to guys. Now I have been home with my little one so I am not sure how it will be when I start working again.
However, it's a down whirled spiral because since I've been good and clean and pregnant with baby two....
I looked through my SO's phone (without his permission which I now regret) and he has been flirting with his coworkers and his ex. He didn't tell me about it..
I knew he was doing something but I didn't think it was flirting around. Especially with his ex. I know I'm a Fuck up and I did bad things.
We are on baby two though.... is our relationship going to last? I feel justified in my actions and I know saying that probably sounds disturbing but I was young. I'm going to be 25 soon. And I want to be settled down. Happy and in a healthy relationship....
I know what I want. Right now I do anyway...
Is my SO going to continue doing these things because I am "on my phone too much?"=
Are we going to get past this where I don't have to ask him if he still loves me?
When I cheated he never asked if I still loved him (I think) . he never felt worried for our relationship.(IDK if this is true) He never needs me. (My opinion)
I'm always doing wrong. I am always putting myself in these positions...
Why do I have to be in these positions? Maybe I think I'd be better off alone.
I want the cry more and more. Curl myself up in a little ball.
I sometimes feel like having kids was a terrible idea.
Why have kids with someone you cheat and lie to? What's so good about being engaged?
I personally don't believe him anymore. I just hang on because I'm selfish. I hang on cause I don't want to be alone.
I don't know how to care for myself. I'm not confident in myself. How can he love me?
Does he feel sorry for me ?
Does he know I'd be lost without him?
Last night he said if he didn't love me he'd leave me regardless of me being pregnant and having our daughter here.
Is that reassuring? Is he lying?
I honestly don't know.
I don't think I could do it. I depend on him too much. He doesn't depend on me at all. I'm nothing to him.
I'm still here.
I praise him to others and tell others I'm so lucky. When I'm just hiding behind him.
When I'm lucky thinking, wow this guy wants to be with me...
Not thinking that I'm taking advantage of him...
I'm scared. If I marry him will things change? Is marriage going to change anything? It's just a paper he says...
Does that mean our relationship will always be like this?
He doesn't want to try to be faithful? I'm trying to be faithful. I really am. He is too I think...
He said it would tear me up if he cheated on me... what does that mean? Did he think about it? Of course he did....
He hugs his coworker... he denies seeing his ex...
Is he just being spiteful to get back at me? Where can I see this relationship in 5 years???
I am so miserable right now. I can't even see past tomorrow. How am I suppose to deal with him when he gets home from work?
I can't stop my tears. I feel so dead inside.
Now I'm reflecting, how the hell does he feel?
When I talk to him casually...I bring up my exes... he gets upset.
He's my best friend and I always say the wrong things.. I don't know how to take people's feelings into consideration. How am I suppose to love him. How can I give him the love and respect he needs to talk to me....
How can I be engaged to him when I feel like we are married about to be broken apart....
I wish he was here right now. There are so many things I want to ask him.
Is he talking to those girls right now?
Is he lying about seeing them??
Is he being like me?
Is he going to hurt me like I hurt him?
I want to be alright again.
I want to have a good relationship with him again. I feel so alone in this right now.
I want him to want me.... I can't hurt him anymore. If I hate feeling this way it should be the kick I need.
I need to write these words down.
I hate myself.
I fucked up majorly.
I have no right to be happy..
He doesn't deserve this or me.
He doesn't need to make me smile.
He doesn't need to do anything to make this situation better.
I should just drop dead.
I don't deserve him.
My kids don't deserve this.
My tears won't stop falling.
My self respect is gone...
The rain outside is so gloomy it reflects my emotions. I am able to write all this while my daughter naps.
I feel really down in the dumps since this all happened yesterday.
I wish I could talk to someone about this but I am glad I could right it down. Makes me feel a little better.
I really am scared with how life is going to be with another child... I feel like I'm going down a miserable path. I feel like I'm going to break....
Say a little prayer for me if you think I'm deserving of one....
Monday, April 25, 2016
Sunday, September 13, 2009
AN ACTION ROMANCE
A manga I can't seem to start
Monday, January 21, 2008
Current mood:distracted
Category: Romance and Relationships
Kilayla Kitt ¢New Edition!!!¢
?A Romance/Action!?
««SUNSET DESIRES»»
3 Girls- Kaede of the Heavens, Kilayla of the Earth and Kirara of hell!!
3 missions of the worlds!!
They fall in love their love crumbles their destinies!!!
When mothers give birth to the first daughters, the daughters get a destiny they have to complete. The first mother Izusu gave birth to the three first daughters and their destiny was to guard the 3 worlds Heaven, Earth and Hell. The first daughter was named Kaede and the Gods of Heaven made her the Guardian of their world. The second daughter was named Kilayla and the land and all on it made her the Guardian of Earth. Then the third daughter born was named Kirara and the dead made her the Guardian of Hell/Netherlands.
spoiler <>
Time moved slowly and the girls did not grow or get old... It was not suppose to happen but it did. The girls had so much power they froze in time, so when all found out, the Gods put a spell on Guardians to make them grow. But when they did the girls had to promise to only love being a Guardian to them love and compassion was just a wandering memory. The girls might being growing but they needed a life of anew!!
Current mood:distracted
Category: Romance and Relationships
Kilayla Kitt ¢New Edition!!!¢
?A Romance/Action!?
««SUNSET DESIRES»»
3 Girls- Kaede of the Heavens, Kilayla of the Earth and Kirara of hell!!
3 missions of the worlds!!
They fall in love their love crumbles their destinies!!!
When mothers give birth to the first daughters, the daughters get a destiny they have to complete. The first mother Izusu gave birth to the three first daughters and their destiny was to guard the 3 worlds Heaven, Earth and Hell. The first daughter was named Kaede and the Gods of Heaven made her the Guardian of their world. The second daughter was named Kilayla and the land and all on it made her the Guardian of Earth. Then the third daughter born was named Kirara and the dead made her the Guardian of Hell/Netherlands.
spoiler <>
Time moved slowly and the girls did not grow or get old... It was not suppose to happen but it did. The girls had so much power they froze in time, so when all found out, the Gods put a spell on Guardians to make them grow. But when they did the girls had to promise to only love being a Guardian to them love and compassion was just a wandering memory. The girls might being growing but they needed a life of anew!!
100 questions reflected on self
This is what I like!! OMG *100 Questions*
100 Questions
Fill it out.. Tag 10 people
01. Real name → Tiffany Marie Phillips
02. Nickname(s) → Tiff-Tiff, Tiffy, Em, Emmie, TP, Sparkles
03. Status → in love, but not dating person?
04. Zodiac sign → Scorpio
05. Male or female → Female
06. Elementary → Centennial Elementary, Valley View Elementary, Westwood Elementary
07. Middle School → Oak Grove Middle, Valley View Middle
08. High School → John F. Kennedy Senior High School
010. Hair color → Strawberry Blond
011. Long or short → Long
012. Loud or Quiet → quiet
013. Sweats or Jeans → jeans
014. Phone or Camera → Phone
015. Health freak → yeah..? lol not rly
017. Do you have a crush on someone? → YES I DO!
018. Eat or Drink → drink
019. Piercings → 2
020. Tattoos → never
021. Water or Fire → water
022. Love of your life or 4 Billion Dollars → 4 billion
023. First fear → Clowns
024. First best friend → Ursula!!!!! ^^
025. First award → basketball
026. First crush → Jake Freese...
027. First pet → Ralph! (cat)
028. First big vacation → Alexandria!!!!!!!!!! ^^
030. First big birthday → um no idea
THIS OR THAT:
[31.] Orange or Apple Juice? - orange(32) Rock or Rap? - Rock
[33.] Country or Screamo? - country
[34.] N'Sync or Backsteet Boys? - N'Sync
[35.] Britney Spears or Christina Aguliera? -Christina!!!
[36.] Night or Day?? -night
[37.] Sunset or Sunrise? - sunrise
38.] TV or Internet? - Internet
[39.] PlayStation or XBox? - PlayStation
[40.] Kiss or Hug? - kiss
[41.] Iguana or Turtle? - Iguana
[42.] Spider or Bee? - Bee
[43.] Fall or Spring? - Fall
[44.] Limewire or iTunes? - lol they are SO different.. LM
[46.] Soccer or Baseball? - Baseball
CURRENTLY:
049. Eating → I had eggs050. Drinking → nothing
052. I'm about to → do HW?
053. Listening to → (LMFAO REMIX) Love Lockdown - Kanye West
054. Plans for today - HW & VMA's
055. Waiting for → NM RELEASE DATE
YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? very much!059. Want to get married? → very much!
060. Careers in mind → some that I need a lot of school for..!!!
WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
068. Lips or eyes → Lips070. Shorter or taller? → Taller
072. Romantic or spontaneous → Romantic
073. Nice stomach or nice arms - Stomach
074. Sensitive or loud → Loud because that is their true side
075. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship
077. Trouble maker or hesitant → Hesitant LOL a trouble maker at heart !! XD
HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts → Yea...081. Ran away from home → yeah.. I didn't get that far.. DAMN MY CELLULAR DEVICE
082. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → um a knife>?
083. Killed somebody → Nope
084. Been Heartbroken → Yes, it hurt and still hurts sometimes
087. Cried when someone died → not really..
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself → I believe in my intentions090. Miracles → yes
091. Love at first sight- No
092. Heaven → yes
093. Santa Claus → No
094. Sex on the first date → No
095. Kiss on the first date → no
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → yes there is
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → It could be better but I'm happy
099. Do you believe in God → Yes
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people→ I think so
My Valentines day!!!
In this note I will explain my valentines day!!! ^^
Starting with my first awakening!!
I woke up at around 5 and my computer was on playing music and I forgot to take out my contacts. So I got up took them out and shut down my computer. I went back to sleep and woke up around 8. I stayed in bed for a while and was really confused. I thought that my mom had work. So I got up *went to the restroom but you didn't want to hear what I did* and I had some of Karee's Valentine chocolate she got me yesterday *she came over yesterday and we had fun!*. OK so then I turned on my computer and started to listen to music again then I took out my matches and lit two of my candles *one I got on my 16Th birthday and the other I got from Karee for Valentines day! It has hearts on it and I put it in my crystal globe* After that I was just lazing around my room because I was tired. My cell phone is a blackberry *BB* and it turned on suddenly. Well my BB was acting strange and when it does that it means someone called but of course if they didn't leave a message I don't know who called me because when its goofy it doesn't save ANYTHING!!!! So of course they DID leave a message and it was my mom telling me to wake up because she wanted to have breakfast with me. Then I was even more confused and I was like, wait I thought she had work today. So I called her and explained and she said she doesn't have work on Saturday unless its coupon day and I forgot that. Then I asked her where she was and she said she was getting her hair colored *for $50* she told me to get ready to go and so I threw some pink and white outfit on because I thought it would be appropriate for Valentines Day. I gotta tell you right now my face and hair looked terrible!! I had two scratches on my face and one on my chest which I found out later *did it to myself while sleeping*. Plus my hair looked so GREASY!!! I don't have a clue why my hair looks like that!! I think I really need professional help because I do not appreciate my hair looking the way it ALWAYS DOES!!! I'm the type of girl who thinks Fantastic Sam's or Great Clips can wash my hair, but I feel really poor for thinking that. I really think the suave is what drives my hair to ruins also I think conditioner does that too. I don't have dandruff I don't have that problem and I think I've had lice only twice in my whole life or once.. To the point I really like Head & Shoulders!!! I think its the best EVER!! ^^ and that makes me happy!! OK to the point, point XP So, my mom asked me where I wanted to go to breakfast and I said McDonald's because I love their hash browns and pancakes and sausages and whatever else they have!!! YUM!! BUT of course I forgot to say my mom and I got in a argument right when I got in the car!!! OK so my mom asked me right when I got in the car what I thought of her hair. It was blond with red highlights and quite honestly I didn't like it at first. The red was not compatible with the blond so I said I like it and I think she knew I was lying and so she said "you don't like it" I was going to say no but I knew she would cry or yell at me so I said "no, I really like it" and then the argument started and I was mad because I had told her yesterday I wanted to try and get my eyebrows done and she had said when she gets her hair done I could get my eyebrows done. So, I was pissed that not only she got her hair done but she got her eyebrows done. So before we got our food we went to Fantastic Sam's and I even told her before we got there that I didn't want to go and that I wanted to go home and she said that my brother was with my grandpa and that this was girl time. So I remembered before I left that our dog really had to go to the bathroom so I said I wanted to let him out because I thought she meant my brother was gone. It turned out that my brother was just next door. *my grandparents live next door* so I called my brother and told him to remember to let the dog out because mom and I weren't home. So my mom pulls in the FS. parking lot and I say no I'm not going to go in and she gets mad and has to turn around and I say after she asks what I want to do that I want to go home. We eventually start driving to McDonald's and the whole breakfast convo that I just explained starts. When we pull into the drive-thru I realize breakfast is over and I tell my mom. You know that guy who says "here's your sign" ?? Well I got a "here's your sign" one for him!! OK so we pull in and the breakfast menu is gone and I tell my mom breakfasts over and SHE STILL asks the lady over the intercom if breakfasts over!!!!!!!!! GEEZ!! OK so I order that premium chicken thing and whatever! My mom and I are driving for a place to eat and on the drive I get a text from my dad asking me to send a picture of my mom's hair. I think to myself OK.. but how can I get a good picture. So I start taking pictures............................................ I'll finish it later because I'm too Tired right now ^^ thanks for reading!!
Starting with my first awakening!!
I woke up at around 5 and my computer was on playing music and I forgot to take out my contacts. So I got up took them out and shut down my computer. I went back to sleep and woke up around 8. I stayed in bed for a while and was really confused. I thought that my mom had work. So I got up *went to the restroom but you didn't want to hear what I did* and I had some of Karee's Valentine chocolate she got me yesterday *she came over yesterday and we had fun!*. OK so then I turned on my computer and started to listen to music again then I took out my matches and lit two of my candles *one I got on my 16Th birthday and the other I got from Karee for Valentines day! It has hearts on it and I put it in my crystal globe* After that I was just lazing around my room because I was tired. My cell phone is a blackberry *BB* and it turned on suddenly. Well my BB was acting strange and when it does that it means someone called but of course if they didn't leave a message I don't know who called me because when its goofy it doesn't save ANYTHING!!!! So of course they DID leave a message and it was my mom telling me to wake up because she wanted to have breakfast with me. Then I was even more confused and I was like, wait I thought she had work today. So I called her and explained and she said she doesn't have work on Saturday unless its coupon day and I forgot that. Then I asked her where she was and she said she was getting her hair colored *for $50* she told me to get ready to go and so I threw some pink and white outfit on because I thought it would be appropriate for Valentines Day. I gotta tell you right now my face and hair looked terrible!! I had two scratches on my face and one on my chest which I found out later *did it to myself while sleeping*. Plus my hair looked so GREASY!!! I don't have a clue why my hair looks like that!! I think I really need professional help because I do not appreciate my hair looking the way it ALWAYS DOES!!! I'm the type of girl who thinks Fantastic Sam's or Great Clips can wash my hair, but I feel really poor for thinking that. I really think the suave is what drives my hair to ruins also I think conditioner does that too. I don't have dandruff I don't have that problem and I think I've had lice only twice in my whole life or once.. To the point I really like Head & Shoulders!!! I think its the best EVER!! ^^ and that makes me happy!! OK to the point, point XP So, my mom asked me where I wanted to go to breakfast and I said McDonald's because I love their hash browns and pancakes and sausages and whatever else they have!!! YUM!! BUT of course I forgot to say my mom and I got in a argument right when I got in the car!!! OK so my mom asked me right when I got in the car what I thought of her hair. It was blond with red highlights and quite honestly I didn't like it at first. The red was not compatible with the blond so I said I like it and I think she knew I was lying and so she said "you don't like it" I was going to say no but I knew she would cry or yell at me so I said "no, I really like it" and then the argument started and I was mad because I had told her yesterday I wanted to try and get my eyebrows done and she had said when she gets her hair done I could get my eyebrows done. So, I was pissed that not only she got her hair done but she got her eyebrows done. So before we got our food we went to Fantastic Sam's and I even told her before we got there that I didn't want to go and that I wanted to go home and she said that my brother was with my grandpa and that this was girl time. So I remembered before I left that our dog really had to go to the bathroom so I said I wanted to let him out because I thought she meant my brother was gone. It turned out that my brother was just next door. *my grandparents live next door* so I called my brother and told him to remember to let the dog out because mom and I weren't home. So my mom pulls in the FS. parking lot and I say no I'm not going to go in and she gets mad and has to turn around and I say after she asks what I want to do that I want to go home. We eventually start driving to McDonald's and the whole breakfast convo that I just explained starts. When we pull into the drive-thru I realize breakfast is over and I tell my mom. You know that guy who says "here's your sign" ?? Well I got a "here's your sign" one for him!! OK so we pull in and the breakfast menu is gone and I tell my mom breakfasts over and SHE STILL asks the lady over the intercom if breakfasts over!!!!!!!!! GEEZ!! OK so I order that premium chicken thing and whatever! My mom and I are driving for a place to eat and on the drive I get a text from my dad asking me to send a picture of my mom's hair. I think to myself OK.. but how can I get a good picture. So I start taking pictures..................
Inuyasha's Protector
Inuyasha Inuyasha's protector
By: Tiffany Phillips
"Yay! I am finally here after all my searching
I have finally found the home of the
Bone-Eaters well!" ~girl~
"Hello may I help you?" ~Kagome's mom~
*gasp* "Yes of course I am sorry
for being rude. My name is -"
[To Feudal Era]
"Hey Inuyasha?!" ~Kagome~
"What?" ~Inuyasha~
"I have to go back home!" ~Kagome~
"Why? Whats wrong?!" ~Inuyasha~
"(mocks) why whats wrong? (end of mock)
Didn't I tell you earlier we need more medical
supplies?!" ~Kagome~
"No you didn't!" ~Inuyasha~
"Yes I did!" ~Kagome~
"NO, you didn't!!" ~Inuyasha~
"Yes I did! *GR RR* SIT BOY!!!" ~Kagome~
~Inuyasha~ *AHHHHH!!*
"Sorry about that..
I was just mad that you would forget about that inuyasha."
(Silence) "HEY! Do you even remember where your taking me?"~Kagome~
"Well, *stutter* of course I know.
I am *stutter* taking you home so you
can *stutter* get medical supplies, HA"
~Inuyasha~
(Kagome smiles sweetly)
[--back to Kagome's Home]
"So what do you want here?"~Kagome's Mom~
"I have come to see the old man Higurashi
that stays here. I need him to show me a sacred
old valuable device." ~girl~
"You are?" ~Grandpa Higurashi~
"Ah, Yes! May you show
me a place with a well? I heard you had one in your
shrine!" *Evil Smile* ~girl~
"Of course! And I can show you what else is in there too!"
~Grandpa Higurashi~
"Thank You! I heard
that its ancient!" ~girl~
"Well you heard right, it is so old that it goes back to the Feudal Era! The
time of demons!" ~Grandpa Higurashi~
*they are talking and walking*
"That is so cool!" *Smile* -I have found it- ~girl~ (door opens, door slams)
"Here we are!" ~Grandpa Higurashi~
"Wow!"~Girl~ (It looks exactly like the way I left it!
I have to direct his attention to something
else.) "Hey Mr. Higurashi?" ~girl~
"Yes?" ~Grandpa Higurashi~
"What is that old pot thing over there?" ~girl~
"Oh, This?" ~Grandpa Higurashi~
(This is my chance! I hope it still works!)
^She runs and jumps feet first into the well. Her left
hand in the air and her right hand down. Her
body begins to tingle and a ocean blue light fills the area
around her^ *It works!! Again my spiritual power returns!*
[-To The Feudal Era]
"Inuyasha?" ~Kagome~
"Yeah, what is it?" ~Inuyasha~
"Do you see that bright blue light by the Bone-Eaters well?" ~Kagome~
"Yeah, I wonder what it is. Only you and I can pass through,
lets hurry!" ~Inuyasha~
"Alright" ~Kagome~
^When Inuyasha and Kagome got to the Bone-Eaters Well
they saw the blue light and it was stronger than anything
they had ever seen. It was a very high light from the
Bone-Eater Well!^
"Inuyasha, it feels like a-" ~Kagome~
"Yeah, I know. Here it comes! Look alive!" ~Inuyasha~
^Inuyasha releases Tetseiga and it transforms. Then the
girl's left hand can be seen and the powers that was stripped
from the girl have returned changing her dark hair to a beautiful
red and black combo hair very long and sleek. Kagome and
Inuyasha get in their fighting stances for they feel a strange
combination A woman arises from the well eyes closed. From
a distance she looks like either kagome or Kikyo!!! Then as the
blue light fades her body falls the the grass and she breathes
in the new air. Kagome and Inuyasha both have a confused
expression on their faces. She then stands and makes signs
with her hands. emanating from her a scent of a very
strong demon and priestess. Her hand signs have
reacted the world around her and in seconds she
receives a outfit fit for a demon a bow (many arrows)
and a ancient sword white and black straps. After maybe
a few moments she is dressed as fit and opens her eyes
and intiminates Inuyasha at once.^
"Who are you?! Answer me!" ~Inuyasha~
"Well that is impolite if we do not introduce ourselves. My name is Kilayla
but you may call me Kila-chan" ~Kila-chan~
"Oh, hello! My name is Kagome Higurashi! This is Inuyasha!" ~Kagome~
"Yes, and how did you come up from the
Bone-Eaters Well!!" ~Inuyasha~
"Oh, so you are Kagome
Higurashi?! I met your grandfather and mother! They are
very nice and led me to the Bone-Eaters Well and I went
right in to be here! Wow, and I never would've guessed
how similar you look to Kikyo. Yes, I know Kikyo. Plus,
Inuyasha I know you as well! Do you know me is the question." ~Kila-chan~
The butterflies *not done with story*
The Butterflies
By: Tiffany
"You start with an imagination, you add color and
let it soar."
First Sight
She was Amabelle nickname: Ambella, and she was a fairy not a butterfly.
Fairies were butterflies descendants and they lived peacefully together.
More than a fairy she was The Fairy, the one to erase all harm,
The protector of the little kingdom. Her story
seems like a fairytale the way I write it, BUT what
if everything wasn't what it would seem. What if
this was a tragic story. Full of hate, power, and
even death? I will tell this story so you know
what everyone has overlooked.
It was a hard pregnancy, mother Izaoi was in so
much pain through her 4 months. She would scream,
kick, and cry uncontrollably. Everyone thought
that the child she was going to bear would be
evil or of higher power. They were very nervous
when she was going to deliver her child prematurely
by 5 months. In the dim ma lounge, the fairy and
butterfly cousins and grandparents weep ed at the
screams inside the room. After 2 hours of screaming
the child was released from the mother. Tens of
thousands of Apple soldiers were tense as they
waited for the verdict of her nature. The young
child was easy to touch the doctors said. The
doctors even let Izaoi hold her child. "A girl,"
Izaoi moaned. Her face was very hot and happy
in the husbands eyes. The husband on the other
hand was teary eyed looking at his wife remembering
her when she was in pain and when he couldn't do
anything. He couldn't even tell her everything
would be fine because he didn't know the outcome.
Resentment began to infest the husbands eyes.
Izaoi looked at her husband and smiled saying,
"what happens happens but whatever happens please
still know I'm happy, I love you and I wouldn't
change anything about this child." He nodded still
mad. The baby girl had a beautiful smile everyone
noticed as they walked in to visit. Many tried to
convince the princesses guards that she was fine
but they were still tense about something else.
A messenger butterfly from princess Apple's castle
came to the dim ma lounge with a message of
escorting the guards from the building. They left
immediately looking back quickly with fear in their
eyes. "The little fairy girl," Izaoi began in front
of her whole family. "We will name her Ambella."
What happens happens..
Dilemma's
The child Amabelle grew up slowly. She was very
premature. Everyone in the family
was very restless looking at her and comparing
her to the other children in the neighborhood.
Izaoi though wasn't worried and she explained her
theory saying that its because she was so premature
and that with time she will develop healthy and
strong. They said they will hold her to that.
That day was the mistake, for the next day Amabelle
stood up by herself. Everyone in the room thought
their heads exploded. Also in the same day she
started to hum. A tune they never heard, never
taught her. They started to keep an eye on her at
night in case she was having visitors of any kind.
What they didn't know was that she was destined
for royalty. What they didn't know was that there
was going to be a repeat of a old ritual that
the girls of royalty would do to their fathers.
The royal princess would kill their own father
with the "hymn of a wayward child" only destined
queens carry this hum in their heads and use
it correctly. The next three days the little girl
started to speak. No, she did not say just a word
she spoke a sentence she said, "when I become
known will you all still love me?" Of course she
was serious she was very breathtaking, literally,
some members of the family fainted and woke up
later smiling and nodding. Izaoi was the only one who
best supported her daughter. On the other hand
the father resented his daughter. He started to
treat her with much hate. Amabelle noticed this
all too well, and it was because this was her plan
from the start. From the start it was the destined
queen to take control of her mothers life and
end her fathers life. It was exactly the cycle.
And for all you readers, I'm not going to make an
exception. I'm just going to put you in suspense.
Awaking
Amabelle woke up with a bad cold, and she coughed
at 2:45am. Izaoi was the first to respond to her
child while the father tried to drown out her
cough. Izaoi held onto Amabelle, "Amabelle?" Izaoi said
in a concerned voice, "Do you want your wings rubbed,
or would you like something to drink? What would
you like?"
Amabelle at that moment was overcome
with the praise she wondered for a moment if her own
mother had become her servant. She took a long
inhale and asked where her daddy was. Izaoi's face
dropped a bit but she said
"Your father had a long day and is sleeping." Amabelle could see the almost
lie in her mothers eyes and accepted that.
"Mama," she said in her sweetened angelic musical voice.
"Can I have some water and sleep in the crib tonight?"
Izaoi looked at her child in shock, but then
she closed her droopy eyes and Amabelle knew she got
her trapped.
"Okay." Izaoi said sleepily and she
scooped Amabelle in her arms and into the main
room cradling her head and laying her softly in the
handmade crib her father made. Izaoi then went to
fetch her water. Amabelle lay there with a blank
expression on her face. She then swiftly turned
her head to hear her father snore exactly a second
later. The expression on her face now was bitter
hate anger and anticipation. Her thoughts were full
of "other" ways to kill her father. She thought
humming his death was too nice of a punishment
for the resentment he felt for her and she wanted
him to feel death. Feel the slow and painful
suffering of death. She wanted him to die the
way a child is born. The wave of frustration
pain pressure oxygen gone and the continued pain.
Yes, she was thinking death would be more painful
than the way she was born. Than life. She felt
so happy the moment she declared war that she wanted
to break all the rules and fly. Before she could
consider that though, Izaoi came in with a beautiful
gold crystal cup filled with water from the crystal
lakes. At that moment she had her mother on the
forefront of her mind and her every thought, well
almost every thought, revolved around what her
mother would think. Her mother her life now, she
wouldn't need her father, none would.
Father's Walk
It was a foggy day in the town. All that could be
heard was the buzzing of wings and the children
playing their games. That day though was a day
everyone wouldn't forget. It started with a common
crash. A little girl named Kamila who had started
to use her wings crashed into a oxygen-store completely
having her the center of attention. STRIKE, thought
Amabelle her mind fluttered because she smelt the
spill of blood. FATHER WILL DIE NOW, she thought
this with much cruelty in her voice. Amabelle was
not a child of wings yet to the towns knowledge, so she
had to look around to make sure not one single person or thing
was watching her. That's when her wings sprang from her body the
beautiful wings not one person in this kind of
town would have. These beautiful wings belonged
to royalty children. She contemplated how to get to her father
and what was a good enough distance where she could say, "Yes father
I am your killer the Queen of this Kingdom." She decided to fly
fast and low so it would seem like she was just running. Her wings
were quiet and invisible to the people of this town.
By: Tiffany
"You start with an imagination, you add color and
let it soar."
First Sight
She was Amabelle nickname: Ambella, and she was a fairy not a butterfly.
Fairies were butterflies descendants and they lived peacefully together.
More than a fairy she was The Fairy, the one to erase all harm,
The protector of the little kingdom. Her story
seems like a fairytale the way I write it, BUT what
if everything wasn't what it would seem. What if
this was a tragic story. Full of hate, power, and
even death? I will tell this story so you know
what everyone has overlooked.
It was a hard pregnancy, mother Izaoi was in so
much pain through her 4 months. She would scream,
kick, and cry uncontrollably. Everyone thought
that the child she was going to bear would be
evil or of higher power. They were very nervous
when she was going to deliver her child prematurely
by 5 months. In the dim ma lounge, the fairy and
butterfly cousins and grandparents weep ed at the
screams inside the room. After 2 hours of screaming
the child was released from the mother. Tens of
thousands of Apple soldiers were tense as they
waited for the verdict of her nature. The young
child was easy to touch the doctors said. The
doctors even let Izaoi hold her child. "A girl,"
Izaoi moaned. Her face was very hot and happy
in the husbands eyes. The husband on the other
hand was teary eyed looking at his wife remembering
her when she was in pain and when he couldn't do
anything. He couldn't even tell her everything
would be fine because he didn't know the outcome.
Resentment began to infest the husbands eyes.
Izaoi looked at her husband and smiled saying,
"what happens happens but whatever happens please
still know I'm happy, I love you and I wouldn't
change anything about this child." He nodded still
mad. The baby girl had a beautiful smile everyone
noticed as they walked in to visit. Many tried to
convince the princesses guards that she was fine
but they were still tense about something else.
A messenger butterfly from princess Apple's castle
came to the dim ma lounge with a message of
escorting the guards from the building. They left
immediately looking back quickly with fear in their
eyes. "The little fairy girl," Izaoi began in front
of her whole family. "We will name her Ambella."
What happens happens..
Dilemma's
The child Amabelle grew up slowly. She was very
premature. Everyone in the family
was very restless looking at her and comparing
her to the other children in the neighborhood.
Izaoi though wasn't worried and she explained her
theory saying that its because she was so premature
and that with time she will develop healthy and
strong. They said they will hold her to that.
That day was the mistake, for the next day Amabelle
stood up by herself. Everyone in the room thought
their heads exploded. Also in the same day she
started to hum. A tune they never heard, never
taught her. They started to keep an eye on her at
night in case she was having visitors of any kind.
What they didn't know was that she was destined
for royalty. What they didn't know was that there
was going to be a repeat of a old ritual that
the girls of royalty would do to their fathers.
The royal princess would kill their own father
with the "hymn of a wayward child" only destined
queens carry this hum in their heads and use
it correctly. The next three days the little girl
started to speak. No, she did not say just a word
she spoke a sentence she said, "when I become
known will you all still love me?" Of course she
was serious she was very breathtaking, literally,
some members of the family fainted and woke up
later smiling and nodding. Izaoi was the only one who
best supported her daughter. On the other hand
the father resented his daughter. He started to
treat her with much hate. Amabelle noticed this
all too well, and it was because this was her plan
from the start. From the start it was the destined
queen to take control of her mothers life and
end her fathers life. It was exactly the cycle.
And for all you readers, I'm not going to make an
exception. I'm just going to put you in suspense.
Awaking
Amabelle woke up with a bad cold, and she coughed
at 2:45am. Izaoi was the first to respond to her
child while the father tried to drown out her
cough. Izaoi held onto Amabelle, "Amabelle?" Izaoi said
in a concerned voice, "Do you want your wings rubbed,
or would you like something to drink? What would
you like?"
Amabelle at that moment was overcome
with the praise she wondered for a moment if her own
mother had become her servant. She took a long
inhale and asked where her daddy was. Izaoi's face
dropped a bit but she said
"Your father had a long day and is sleeping." Amabelle could see the almost
lie in her mothers eyes and accepted that.
"Mama," she said in her sweetened angelic musical voice.
"Can I have some water and sleep in the crib tonight?"
Izaoi looked at her child in shock, but then
she closed her droopy eyes and Amabelle knew she got
her trapped.
"Okay." Izaoi said sleepily and she
scooped Amabelle in her arms and into the main
room cradling her head and laying her softly in the
handmade crib her father made. Izaoi then went to
fetch her water. Amabelle lay there with a blank
expression on her face. She then swiftly turned
her head to hear her father snore exactly a second
later. The expression on her face now was bitter
hate anger and anticipation. Her thoughts were full
of "other" ways to kill her father. She thought
humming his death was too nice of a punishment
for the resentment he felt for her and she wanted
him to feel death. Feel the slow and painful
suffering of death. She wanted him to die the
way a child is born. The wave of frustration
pain pressure oxygen gone and the continued pain.
Yes, she was thinking death would be more painful
than the way she was born. Than life. She felt
so happy the moment she declared war that she wanted
to break all the rules and fly. Before she could
consider that though, Izaoi came in with a beautiful
gold crystal cup filled with water from the crystal
lakes. At that moment she had her mother on the
forefront of her mind and her every thought, well
almost every thought, revolved around what her
mother would think. Her mother her life now, she
wouldn't need her father, none would.
Father's Walk
It was a foggy day in the town. All that could be
heard was the buzzing of wings and the children
playing their games. That day though was a day
everyone wouldn't forget. It started with a common
crash. A little girl named Kamila who had started
to use her wings crashed into a oxygen-store completely
having her the center of attention. STRIKE, thought
Amabelle her mind fluttered because she smelt the
spill of blood. FATHER WILL DIE NOW, she thought
this with much cruelty in her voice. Amabelle was
not a child of wings yet to the towns knowledge, so she
had to look around to make sure not one single person or thing
was watching her. That's when her wings sprang from her body the
beautiful wings not one person in this kind of
town would have. These beautiful wings belonged
to royalty children. She contemplated how to get to her father
and what was a good enough distance where she could say, "Yes father
I am your killer the Queen of this Kingdom." She decided to fly
fast and low so it would seem like she was just running. Her wings
were quiet and invisible to the people of this town.
The Transition
In the Autumn rise fountains of colors fall from the nippy sky. All shapes of leaves. All flowers bow their heads to frost. All animals of warm climate prepare for the winter in a buzz. It is a setting scene. We watch the days go by, we wave goodbye to the pools, parks and sports. We then welcome winter along with the inside sensations and family gatherings. Many people move to the warmer climates, an ancestral need. The chill left to the truly blooded ones. The rabbit turns white to the sight, and the ground hog waits inside along with the bears and bats. Life in the winter seems to slow down. The snowflakes burn over our hearts as we adjust and we find ourselves in a winter wonderland. These are the months where the holidays are more traditional. Where families can get to know each other better and where people can see the errors of their ways. We build until spring comes then we bloom .
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